We have liftoff: Tesla's new Roadster can fly, sort of
- Tesla’s resurrected Roadster promises 2028 production—mark your calendars, set your alarms, and don’t hold your breath.
- SpaceX-style cold gas thrusters give the car a Hoverboard-lite party trick, likely to impress neighbors and terrify pedestrians.
- The last ‘next-gen’ Roadster reveal was in 2017; this one has the range of a stock promise and the timeline of a software update.
- No word on whether flight mode voids the warranty or just your life insurance policy.
Brief Summary
Tesla has once again dragged the Roadster out of the concept-car graveyard, this time bolting on some thruster nonsense so it can ‘sort of’ fly. The company says production starts in 2028, which in Elon-time means somewhere between never and the heat death of the universe. The car’s party piece? Short hops, presumably to skip potholes or escape disappointed investors. Nearly nine years after the last tease, the only thing soaring here is the marketing budget. Expect pre-orders to require a $50,000 deposit and a willingness to believe in gravity-defying fairy tales.
Why This Matters
For the average reader, this is less a transportation breakthrough and more a rich man’s yo-yo with extra thrust. If Tesla actually hits 2028, it’ll be a status symbol for tech bros who want to cosplay as Iron Man while stuck in commute traffic. But the real personal takeaway? Don’t trade in your sensible sedan just yet—this ‘flying car’ is about as real as your New Year’s resolution to go to the gym. The bigger story is Tesla’s continued reliance on spectacle over substance, which should make any potential buyer wary of promises that literally defy physics—and deadlines.