Newsletters
- Washington Examiner hawks a fleet of newsletters, including a daily 'briefing' that promises 'cutting-edge insights'—basically, a recycle bin for yesterday's press releases.
- Byron York's 'Daily Memo' is pitched as the 'inside track' on news, because apparently your existing feed of doom-scrolling isn't enough anxiety for one morning.
- 'Washington Secrets' promises behind-the-scenes dirt on D.C. power players—a.k.a. the same gossip you'd get from a bartender at a Capitol Hill happy hour, minus the hangover.
- All this 'exclusive reporting' is free—because your attention span is the real product being harvested and sold to advertisers.
- No, this isn't a parody. It's a desperate plea to keep your dopamine hit tied to their brand name.
Brief Summary
The Washington Examiner—the news org that thinks 'breaking' means 'something we finally noticed'—is flogging a subscription pyramid of daily newsletters. There's 'Examiner Today,' a 'must-read briefing' featuring Hugo Gurdon and Christopher Tremoglie, who promise 'critical developments' that are so critical they couldn't find a slot in the actual paper. Then there's Byron York's 'Daily Memo,' a 'clear and concise briefing' from a guy who claims to know 'which stories will drive the day's news'—a skill that clearly didn't help him predict his own newsletter's irrelevance. Rounding out the spam-trifecta is 'Washington Secrets,' a blog that promises 'stories you won't find anywhere else,' which is industry code for 'we didn't bother to fact-check this twice.'
Why This Matters
For the average reader, this isn't news—it's an infomercial. The only real impact is the existential dread of another newsletter clogging your already-overflowing inbox, each one vowing to 'keep you posted' while adding nothing but stress and a vague urge to hit 'unsubscribe.' The true takeaway: If you're relying on a promotional pitch from the Examiner to tell you what matters, you've already lost the news cycle—and possibly your sense of humor.